Assalamualaikum! Hehe
I know I know I always break my promise (to myself). Kononnya nak cuba bercerita banyak kat sini but I always ended up zero posting. Truthfully, memang selalu buka blogger tapi every time tekan New Post, selalu jadi blank! Huh. (hah...dah blank dah tak tahu nak taip apa)
Hari ini 22 Disember dah. Rupanya dah hampir setahun jadi seorang emak. Tapi sampai sekarang rasa macam tak pandai jaga anak. It is not an easy journey but it definitely worth the effort. Letihlah macam mana pun, frustrated lah macam mana pun, it always end up with happiness at the end of the day. AND, I learnt that I am not alone in this journey (sebab sejujurnya, there is a little possessive feeling that I developed after lahirkan Thaqif. Possessive macam "hei, i gave birth to him so i have 100% rights towards his welfare and whatnot", faham tak?). So sometimes I macam tak percaya that my husband can take care of him like I did. Tak senonoh kan perangai?
TAPI, ia memakan diriku sendiri kernanya at the end of the day, I am the one yang exhausted physically and mentally. End up, boleh je nak bermasam muka dengan husband sendiri kononnya nak merajuk sebab dia tak tolong jaga anak. hahaha perangai! But Alhamdulillah, walaupun Asfar nampak macam kaudahkenapatetibanakmarahaku, dia slowly faham caraku dan pandai-pandai sendiri take care of anak when I am in bad mood (read:tired). And I also start to lowered my expectation towards him in taking care of anak (sambil senyap-senyap bagi arahan how to do what).
These days, kalau penat dan muka tak ceria, terus Asfar ajak keluar petang meronda-ronda beli eskrem Family Mart so that bini dia sengih balik macam kerang busuk. Aih, kenapa senang sangat nak gembirakan seorang Syaheera? So unfair. :P
Apapun, doakan Syaheera jadi mommy yang terbaik untuk Thaqif!
In Shaa Allah
