Simple Joy

Assalamualaikum! Hehe

I know I know I always break my promise (to myself). Kononnya nak cuba bercerita banyak kat sini but I always ended up zero posting. Truthfully, memang selalu buka blogger tapi every time tekan New Post, selalu jadi blank! Huh. (hah...dah blank dah tak tahu nak taip apa)

Hari ini 22 Disember dah. Rupanya dah hampir setahun jadi seorang emak. Tapi sampai sekarang rasa macam tak pandai jaga anak. It is not an easy journey but it definitely worth the effort. Letihlah macam mana pun, frustrated lah macam mana pun, it always end up with happiness at the end of the day. AND, I learnt that I am not alone in this journey (sebab sejujurnya, there is a little possessive feeling that I developed after lahirkan Thaqif. Possessive macam "hei, i gave birth to him so i have 100% rights towards his welfare and whatnot", faham tak?). So sometimes I macam tak percaya that my husband can take care of him like I did. Tak senonoh kan perangai?

TAPI, ia memakan diriku sendiri kernanya at the end of the day, I am the one yang exhausted physically and mentally. End up, boleh je nak bermasam muka dengan husband sendiri kononnya nak merajuk sebab dia tak tolong jaga anak. hahaha perangai! But Alhamdulillah, walaupun Asfar nampak macam kaudahkenapatetibanakmarahaku, dia slowly faham caraku dan pandai-pandai sendiri take care of anak when I am in bad mood (read:tired). And I also start to lowered my expectation towards him in taking care of anak (sambil senyap-senyap bagi arahan how to do what).

These days, kalau penat dan muka tak ceria, terus Asfar ajak keluar petang meronda-ronda beli eskrem Family Mart so that bini dia sengih balik macam kerang busuk. Aih, kenapa senang sangat nak gembirakan seorang Syaheera? So unfair. :P

Apapun, doakan Syaheera jadi mommy yang terbaik untuk Thaqif! 

In Shaa Allah

3 BUDAK GEMOK

That's what I call ourselves.

💗

Semoga kami sekeluarga sentiasa diredhai Allah SWT.

Last week, we went to my bandmate's wedding. It was night reception at Bangi Resort Hotel. The event started at 8pm so we were rushing nak solat Maghrib and bersiap lagi. Thaqif was sleeping dari petang so everything was rushed as soon as he got up. I gave him bath and pakaikan baju dengan cepat so he was quite cranky. Being rushed, i guess. Fast forward, sempat keluar rumah 750 macam tu. I don't know why I felt this anxiety of meeting people maybe sebab dah lama tak jumpa kawan-kawan so I wanted to be seated in the hall quickly. 

Tapi bila sampai je destinasi, Thaqif pooped! He was already unhappy the whole trip in the car and now pooping! My stress level is increasing. I wanted to change his diaper quickly tapi him being upset as it is, not being cooperative, meraung dalam kereta pusing-pusing tak nak change the diaper. I was about to give up and nak tukar kat tandas je tapi he didn't stop crying. I dukung dia for a while outside the car, bagi tenang. Mommy pun nak tenangkan diri. Tapi the smell of his poop is fuhhh lol. So Mommy had to do what I had to do. I force-changed the diaper in the car and calmed him down afterward. Masa tu honestly, I felt giving up and nak balik rumah je. I thought, maybe I am not fit to be socializing anymore. 

(At night, some more)

Asfar took him and ask me to calm down. I did, and we entered the hall. It was a beautiful set up so the vibe cheered me up a bit. Alhamdulillah I met my bandmates right away, so being Syaheera, I forgot the little incident already. Asfar was taking care of Thaqif all the time, letting me mingle I guess. Thank you b. I do appreciate it. And betullah setiap kejadian ada hikmah-Nya, sebab Thaqif slept half-through the event so Mommy&Daddy could eat peacefully, Alhamdulillah. Masa dessert time tu dia tersedar, and terus Mommy bagi makan so he was in a good mood all night. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. :) Mommy pun happy dapat jumpa borak dengan bandmate yang dah berzaman tak jumpa. 

So, everyone was happy. 

Hence, the picture we took before going home. Hee

Freelance Translator?

Assalamualaikum wbt.

To be honest, I have never dreamed of becoming one. I have never thought it as a career before. However, after I quit my job as Subtitle Editor at IYUNO back in April 2016, I have become a freelancer since then. But yet, I have never recognized it as my career. I enjoyed working at home, after quitting, but at the same time I wanted that "office life", Although I applied to various kind of job, there was not a single feedback. Which made me decide to further study in UPM for two years (dang, was it?). 

Feb 2017 - Jan 2019 was quite an interesting phase.

First, I became a student of Human Resource Development. Totally different sejauhhh alam daripada diploma&degree. But it was a great two years experience and I got to know a lot of great and inspiring people! UPM-mates, saranghaeyo!

Second, since my classes were like 5 times a week, and all of them started at 3 the earliest, I manage to do freelancing as well! So it's like studying+earning money!

Third, I got to know Asfar. My first love. My now-husband. A lot of dating stuffs going the whole two years. lol Alhamdulillah I am married to my first relationship-man.

Fourth, I passed PTD Online Exam but failed the UKJK. Also got called for SPA interview but apparently failed because I answered the Dewan Rakyat's chairs wrong. So, yeah.

Okey, dah melalut.

So, I got married on Feb 2019 and I was jobless since then. Adalahhhh editing job sekali dalam tahun tu. But I earned no income at all. And I got pregnant two months into the marriage. tehehee. And my husband asked me to postpone work hunting after dapat anak. Aih. Then I bersalin akhir tahun 2019, was so busy adapting sampai sekarang. and then the Covid. Practically, my life revolve around my baby&husband back to back!

Tapi Alhamdulillah, I received a silver lining during Covid when a subtitling company approached me through Linkedin saying that they need an Eng-Malay freelance translator and willing to give training if needed. It was on the early April when everyone was so into MCO etc, so I just grab it and started training. It was a Spanish-based company so my working hours were at night. Which is Alhamdulillah sebab Thaqif dah tidur by that time. I finished the training and Alhamdulillah I started the real task on 20th May. Yes, 3 hari sebelum raya.XD

This time around, I am approaching my job as freelance translator in a different view. Mungkin inilah rezeki kerjaku yang sebenar. It suits me more as a new mom and in the end of the day, I do love translating. :)

Semoga sis berjaya kekalkan momentum as freelance translator for longg longg time. Aminn

Finally...,Thaqif bin Asfar.

Assalamualaikum. everyone!

Alhamdulillah I just gave birth to a little cutie baby boy on last 31st December. His due date should be 11th January and everyday we were telling him to come out on New Year but what to say, he couldn't wait to see his mommy & daddy instead! :D Everyone was telling me how fast my first birth experience was. Alhamdulillah semuanya dipermudahkan dari awal sampai akhir. Mommy gonna write down every second from my first contraction until the moment I gave birth to you, okay? Nanti anak dah besar nak cerita kat dia balik senanggg. Rujuk blog je sebab mak-mak biasanya pelupa. hewhew

Everything happened so fast. Tu yang paling I remembered. Asfar and I went to bed around 0130 on 31st December. Quite late because I was contacting my friend, Ena who was in Liverpool to do some shopping (blame different timezone). Tapi at that moment memang tak rasa apa-apa pun. Sakit ke tak selesa ke, nothing. We even planned to bake some cheesecake the next day lol. Kami pun tidur dengan tenangnya. Dalam pukul 5 pagi, I tersedar and rasa tak tahan nak ke toilet. Masa tu dah terasa sakit pinggang macam senggugut tu. Tapi I ignored and continued to sleep. 0530 tepat tersedar sekali lagi! Tersedar dengan sakit yang extra sikit tapi rasa nak kencing sangat-sangat. Again, to the toilet. Sakit tu masih ada so, I tried to baring dulu untuk confirmkan whether is it false contraction ke apa. I don't even know what contraction is at that time haha. Sempat Whatsapp Masitah tanya pasal contraction. I timed the pain. 0541 jadi lagi sekali. Relax pulak. 0551 jadi lagi. Relax balik. 0600 jadi lagi sekali. Ah sudah. Every 10 minutes dah. Masa tu, terus kejut Asfar kat sebelah. Cakap dah sakit ni. Dia punya terkejut tu terus bangun terduduk and suruh pergi mandi and solat Subuh dulu. At the same time, ma datang ketuk pintu bilik cakap nak pergi masjid. Bila cakap kat ma yang I am already in pain, ma cakap "Ha slow-slow la tu. Lambat lagi tu nak beranak. Ma nak gi masjid dulu." Lepas dah mandi semua, I immediately get dressed sebab dalam kepala nak pergi hospital je. Asfar cepat-cepat settlekan barang masuk dalam kereta etc. Kami turun ke dapur and breakfast sama-sama (in pain okay!) Ikutkan cakap ma, dia tak nak bagi pergi lagi hospital. Tunggu lambat-lambat sikit sebab kalau tak kena tahan lama kat hospital. But ma, I cannot tahan anymore T_T

0830 we arrived at HUSM. Asfar dan Ma je ikut sama-sama. Nasib baiklah sis paksa juga datang hospital sebab by 0930 macam tu, doktor check bukaan dah 4cm. "Puan tak perlu masuk wad ya. Puan tunggu je di sini sampai nak beranak." I was what... Baby is coming out already? Masa tu I was all alone in the ward while Asfar and Ma tunggu kat luar. Ma hantar makanan paksa makan but Allahuakbar the pain is surreal. Contraction pain itu menggerunkan if I were to describe it. It comes and goes without warning and with no mercy 😂 I couldn't eat at all. More to I don't want to. I was wandering around the ward while listening to other mothers screaming nak beranak. 'Alamak, nanti turn aku macam tu juga ke?' So, the whole time I walked and walked around the ward sampailah satu tahap rasa makin kuat contraction and dah start rasa nak berak. You know the feeling you have to teran berak sebab tak tahan sangat dah? I cepat-cepat told nurse cakap 'Saya rasa nak berak la nurse.' Selamba je nurse reply, 'Puan dah tak boleh pergi tandas ya. Puan tahan je.' Masa tu, I was feeling sakit contraction, nak meneran sooo bad and at the same time mengantuk yang amat! Bayangkanlah the whole previous day dah beraktiviti apa entah dah lupa pastu the night before tu pukul 1 pagi baru tidur. And sekarang dah pukul 11pagi  macam tu. Everytime I sat down, sambil melayan sakit, sambil tu juga mata nak tutup tidur. Macam orang mabuk sampaikan nurse tegur 'Mengantuk sangat awak ni. Letih sangat ke?' Haha. A doctor came and checked me up again. Dia kata masa tu bukaan 5cm. 1cm of opening in 2 hours. I was counting in my head and....ohmy. another 10 more hours to endure this pain? Biar betul.

My sister-in-law, Afiqah came in to support me. Since she worked in HUSM, she is allowed to enter the ward for a moment. She gave me Milo kotak and Kitkat bar and forced me to eat, and walked. Untuk cepatkan bukaan, masa sakit tulah lagi kena jalan. I was not in my right mind masa tu so I followed everything she said. My lips never stopped zikr 'lailahailla anta subhanakainni kuntu minazzolimin' and I kept on walking sampailah the nurse told me the room is ready. Masa tu rasa macam Alhamdulillah finally I can lie down and teran keluar anak! XD I think it was around 1300 when I finally got the room to myself and despite my perasaan nak meneran semakin kuat, the doctors and nurses sangat tenang memberi arahan itu ini, cucuk situ sini prepping me for the delivery. 1315 doktor check bukaan it was 8cm (YES!) and called Asfar. But still, I was not allowed to push. Asfar came in muka blur tak tahu nak buat apa and he asked me 'Apa yang I perlu buat?' I felt hopeless masa tu haha. Orang tengah sakit dia sempat tanya kita macam tu. I told him 'Just tolong zikirkan untuk I.' The pain is getting angrier lol and tiba-tiba nurse cakap 'Eh, dah nampak rambut. Okey, puan boleh mula teran bila contraction tu jadi ya.' Nak-nak masa tu juga contraction hilang for quite significant period. Btw masa tu I already asked for painkillers and they gave me this painkiller gas Entonox. It definitely was not helping to kill the pain but it absolutely did distract me from focusing on the pain only. You got what I mean? I'm confident enough to say that I was quite high during my delivery hahaa. While waiting for the contraction to come I actually sempat bebel 'Alahai hilang pulak contraction ni. Orang tak sabar nak teran dah.' Nurse tu senyum je tengok aku. But, once the pain came, I teran kaw-kaw dalam 2-3 kali and gedebush! At 1355, keluarlah seketul bayi yang berambut lebat dengan tangisannya yang kuat itu. Alhamdulillah. Mommy and daddy both keluar air mata jantan tengok anak dah selamat dilahirkan. Sempatlah skin to skin for a few moments before nurse ambil untuk cucikan baby.

Everything happen so fast afterward dengan nurse suruh asfar ambil baju baby and the doctor start the post-delivery process untuk keluarkan uri, check luka untuk dijahit and all. You think after you push the baby out everything is done and you can go to sleep kan? ha ha ha NO. The torture came AFTER that. Doktor cakap dia akan start jahit since ada few luka. katanya. Doktor explain aku ada luka di luar dan di dalam (vagina). Baca je pun dah rasa gerun kan? Masa ni lah yang aku start sedut Entonox macam orang gila tu. I spent less than 10 minutes to push the baby out but I had to keep my legs opened for the whole two hours and a half hanya untuk jahitan. Bayangkan selama tu lah I kept on breathe in Entonox sampai doktor suruh stop sebab takut aku high. (I was already) Habih aku interview doktor tu. Rupanya dia HO. Final year lagi dua bulan akan habis HO katanya. Aku tanya umur lah nama lah. Although I totally forgot his name by the time I got out of the ward. Ada la 20 kali dok ulang tanya 'Tak siap lagi ke doktor? Banyak lagi ke luka doktor? Doktor saya sakit ni. Saya letih sangat ni. Toksei doh doktor bo lah jahit.' lol

Apapun, everything went well after that. Selesai sesi dijahit, tunggu another 30mins dalam tu before nurse tolak masuk wad biasa. Masa tu baru dapat jumpa everyone. Masa tu barulah dapat duduk selesa atas katil. Alhamdulillah. Despite all the chaos, betullah orang kata, when you see the baby, all the pain, all the exhaustion disappear. And from that exact moment, I am a mom.

Assalamualaikum, Thaqif <3

A Year of Doing

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah we are slowly closing the first quarter of 2020 (already, what). I've been wanted to write as many as I can starting this year actually. I want to be open up again, in shaa Allah. So many things to share, so many things to rant about. My newborn son, being a stay-at-home wife/mom, my favourite things to do-still-in-the-list, Corona Virus, Netflix etc. I have so many thoughts to let go but somehow haven't got the courage (read=kerajinan) to pick up my laptop and actually type those words down. 

But somehow I saw my Prudential planner sitting on my desk written "2020 A Year of Doing". Wow, what a slap on the face. I should have not think of anything anymore. I should just, do it. Right?

Hence, this short post. :D 

I will try my best to keep on writing, okay?

Regards,

Syaheera